Friday, June 12, 2009

Matchbox 20 was right.

Today I offer you the latest token of city life to take root in good ol' State College, joining a class of forerunners including displaced hipsters, and nostalgic indie-rock Strokes fans.....behold, a little gem I like to call H1N1.


...that's right. We got the swine flu- fresh outa Queens, by way of Mexico, three cases have turned up at my middle school alma mater.


More notable however, is that it happened on the same day the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic...(which is pretty much the exact opposite of telling people "there's no need to panic"). Now personally, the severity of this outbreak is not what concerns me. I'm already well reconcilled with understanding that the world is coming to an end-- old news. What gets my goat is that by declaring a pandemic, the W.H.O., in the event that I were to catch the swine flu, has officially stripped me of the possibility of feeling special...because now apparently we're all going to get it...cheers. No longer could I then say, "Yeah dude, I totally survived that crazy swine flu epidemic everyone was freaking out about,"and feel like I especially cheated death, because now the response will be either, "Oh word, me too," or, "hey I'm dead."

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I was babysitting at church a few weeks ago and took two of the little girls to the bathroom. We were about to leave when I realized that the younger of the two had forgotten to wash her hands. "wait jackie, you have to go back and wash your hands before we leave" the other girl looked at me and said, "yeah, if you don't wash your hands you will get the swine flu... my gradpa died from the swine flu... it was so not funny." me, speechless. "hey jackie, maybe you should use extra soap."