Eeezee Streeet

So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Gospel of Mathew


An interesting experience often occurs when I'm at church. Amidst the usual pressures and, now school induced, anxiety from the trivially hectic American life I lead, I receive a dose of spiritual valium to the brain and find myself in a sensational moment of repose. The problems that leach onto the recesses of my mind are neutralized and I receive a mental point of clarity, if only for a little while. My schedule instantly seems less pressing, school appears as the exaggeration it really is, and my anxieties are clarified as just a waste of increased blood pressure. It's a process that's endorsed even by secular psychology: that of putting your life, and its affairs, in perspective. A good church service for me (most often the time of worship), or even sometimes a good lecture, or a good book, is what facilitates this process in my own life. The problem is that I think I sometimes misinterpret these feelings to a self-destructive, rather than self-furthering, level:

If I accept that tomorrow will take care of itself and shrug off whatever matter might have me anxious, then I tell myself that investing my nerves in anything other than short term is a vain pursuit. After all God knows my problems and they aren't too big for him, and so begins a downward spiral. Why worry? Ok I won't worry. Well what makes me worry? School makes me worry. Homework makes me worry. I shall expose both for what they really are. Vanities says the preacher! I will go get some Chinese instead of working on this paper and tomorrow can worry about itself. Yes, the divine hand will write my paper: that is what faith is.

...or not. Vexed, am I. More on this in the future.